ITs May and I got a song

May 3, 2013 – 3:43 pm

SO I was lissenin to the radio at JIffey LUBe the other day and dreamin bout INdy when the BEAtlers start playing EIGht Days a WEek. NOW I love the BEatles bout as much as do INdyCArs so I hummed me up a nother song bout INdy. AN it goes somthin like this

OOh I need this month babe
NEedit all year round
WIll spend it at the track babe
THe biggest race in town

POLe day, bump day, carb day, RACe day!
ITs the biggest race we got babe
EIGtht days in MAy

BE there all the time now
Always on my mined
DRInken evry day now
GOMer I have to fined

POle DAy, bump day, carb day, RACe DAY!
ITs the biggest race we got babe
EIGht days in MAy

EIGht days in MAy
I love you
EIGht DAYs in MAy
CANt help but wishin it was more

OOh I need this month babe
gets over way too soon
ONce the action starts babe
NEXt thing it is JUne

POle day, bump day, carb day, RACes DAy!
ITs the biggest thing in town now
EIGht days in MAy

BIf’s POle DAy UPdate

May 20, 2012 – 11:55 am

OK so BUck, JAmes RObert, KEnny and me were plannin on gone to the track on SAturday to see the safest INdyCAR evar run for the pole.  WE been talkin bout it for a long time.  I had me a case of BUd LIte PLantimum a bottel of WIled TUrky and a bunch of ham sammichs all readied up.  BUt things happened an I never even left the trailer yesterday.

SO at MOTher s DAy we was in JOliet at ADrian’s sisters’s apartment and she sneaks this book 50 GRAy SHAdes to ADRian.  I dint know bout it until a few days ago.  So on FRiday night when I get home ADrian had been readin that book all day long.  I walked into teh bathroom and I think I catched her rubbin one out.  SHe acted jut liek I do when she catches me hahahahahahaha SO we go out to eat at SUbways an while Im enjoying a double meat foot long ADrian tells me she wants me to take her to CIRillas in GReenwwod.  I neerly crapped myself.  SHe wanted to get some things for the weeekend.  ANd shes all lovey dovey and rubbin up against me.   ANd I needed a drink or ten hahahahahahaa  WEll anyway we get a buch of stuf and two cartons of batterys an head back to the trailer park.  ANd on the way there she starts tellin me all the stuff in the book an I coud hartly drive.  DANg where has this been all my life?  SO we get home and the damed neighbor with teh hot daughter comes over to visit us.  ANd we sit out side on the deck and Im drinkn some WIled TUrky an hopin they woud get teh hell out of here.  IF you know waht I mean hahahahahahah

BUt then the other neighbor comes over and pertty soon we got a bout 8 people and 14 dogs hangin around our place.  ANd ol BIf is watin to try out the bag of goodies from CIRillas.  BUt no.  THEy sticked ar ound till midnight.  BY then I had teh whisky dick and wasnt gone to be good for nuthin.  SO i slobberd off to bed thinkin bout seeing the INdyCAr POle DAy on SAturday.

SO I wake up at 7:3o and ADrians out makin breakfast for me in the kitchen.  SHe never does that SHes got eggs and bacon and toast and juice and shes wearin s0me lacy little thing that dont even cover her up none.  SO I set down for breakfast and eat a bunch and just as Im finsihed ADrain pulls me real close to her by my shirt an looks me in my eyes and says ‘BIf I want you to give me four good ones.’  POle DAy baby POle Day

AW crap.  WHats a man sposed to do?  WEll I am a man after all so  you know what I did hahahahahaha.  MAYbe I can get out on CARb Day to see them run.   I got three good ones under my belt and a bout to work on number four.  Best POle DAy in years hahahahahahahaha  SO BUck calls me last night to tell me who got the POle.  An all I coud do is laughhahahahahahaha

AN just a little bit ago ADrian toled me she wants me to take her to teh CLAssy Chassy.  WAHt the hell do I do now?  MAn some things just shoud happen.  NOt with your wife anyways.

 

BIf#

MAy is finelly here

May 16, 2012 – 9:58 pm

ANd dang it I been workin my but off at teh JIffy LUbe.  DOnt even got the innernet there to wach live streeming from the track.  HElles BElls theres only so much to the MOnth of MAy and I got to work.  BUt HOley COw waht a month it has been.  SO much has happened.  Egspecially this week.  WOw.   MOst months the bumping dont start until qualfications are over but this year it begunned now.  DRIvers getting bumped out of rides and then back in. ENGines getting bumped.  BOOst getting bumped.  AN I got some bumps last night at the CLassy CHassy hahahahahah  WHo knows who is gone to be 33?  MAn it was never liek this.  NEver.  THis is INdyCAr drama baby.  THe GRand OLd LAdy of SPeed is the DRama MAma.

SO waht can I say?  THe safest car ever to rae at INDy is now racing at INDy.  HEre we are on the 16th of MAy and only one littel wreck.  AInt never happened before liek this.  IN years past some hobo woud have hit the wall a week ago.  BUT not this year.  THAt is safety.  NO matter what safety looks like this is perty.  WE got engine competition even if they is all turbos.  BUt there our turbos.  RUnning under INDy CAR rules.  hahahahahahaha  SUck on the PAul TRAcey. hahahahahahaha

INdyCAr has turned a corner or actully four.  SPonsors are linin up to sponsor the walls at INDy.  THey know thats gone to be a big hit.  You got teh FUzzys and something else.  I forget.  BUT there will be more.  CAn you amaione a big red bullseye in TURn 1 from TArget.  YEh baby I can.  ANd maybe some local SPeedway merchants can advertize aslo liek the MUg n BUn and UNion JAcks and CHarlie BRowns and maybe COnkles.  RIGht smack on the wall.  TARget, CONkles, POW, its all good.

ANd for the first time ever NAtional TIRe is sposnerng the grass at INDy. hahahahahahahah  THAt rocks.  NONe of this ever happened when CARt ranned here.  NO sirree BOb.  NOt at all.  THe new INDy CAr is workin baby.  ITs hittin on all 6 cylinders.

ANd this weekend the crowds shoud be ennormulous.  WHen ever will they see so much horesepowers at INDy this year?  BEsides the pace car that is.  JUst think a bout that.  THe winner of this years INDy 500 will win a pace car just liek always.  BUt this pace car  gots more horsepowers than the race cars.  WOw!  WHO woudnt want that?  NEver before in the histry of INdy has that happened Im sure.  WINning!!

 

SO stay tuned race fans.  IF the frist half of MAy is any indercation this is gone to be a action packed month.  ANd I”m on the TWitter also.  CHEck me out @BigIrlFan

BIf#

HOLey MACkrel THIs is gone to rock

April 12, 2011 – 6:16 pm

THe INdy 500 has doen it again. They just doen raised the bar for motor racing entertainments with the a nouncment of the WOrlds LArgest HOt WHeels TRack tahts gone to be built at the SPeedway.  HOley smoke.  ON the day of the WORlds LArgest RAce they is gonna drop a car off the WORlds LArgest door so it can dothe WORlds LArgest Jump.  DAng.  IF that dont say racing I dont know what does.  I bout wet myself when I saw this picture int he INdy Star

BIg DOor at INdy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUt you know it goes right along with how big everyting at INdy is.  HElls BElles we got the PUdrue BAnd with the WORlds LArrgest Drum prefroming in front of the WOrld LARgest CRowd.

 

BIg Drum at Indy

 

 

 

SO why stop there?   WHy not have a bunch of WORlds largets stuff in the INfield?  LIke maybe the WORlds LArgets ROcking CHair?

 

 

BIg ROcker and I dont mean MEatloaf

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANd maybe even the WORlds LArgest Baseball BAt from LOuisville?

 

 

BIg Bat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WE could also get WORlds LArgest BAll of String

 

 

 

BIg STring

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANd the WORLds LArget RUbber BAnd Ball

 

 

LARgest RUbber BAnd BAll

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The TRack could serve the WORlds LArgest NAchos

 

 

LARge nachos

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANd for sure we need the WORlds LArgest SIx Pack to wash it down

 

 

BIg BEers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANd MAybe even the WOrlds LArgest STipper POle

 

 

BIg stripper poles

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUt why STop there?  FOR CRaaps sakes we coul have the WORlds LARgest TEnderloin eatining contest and AJ could judge that.  ANd the WORlds largest IRL Fan contest. Oh YEah.   WE could have JIm NAybors judge it.  Ill bet heed be happy to get behind that.   

 

MAn on man it just boggels the mind.  IF this aint waht the month of MAy is a bout, I dont know what is. 

 

   MAybe we could even give TOney GOerge the title of the WORlds LArgets something or other.  THInk bout it.  HE deserves it.  IF it werent for him YOUd never see any of this if CARt was still a round.  NOt at all. SO go cry in your beers you CARt strret race loosers.  JEalous, jealous again. hahahahahahahah

 

 

 

HOLey MOLy THAnks for WAching

March 30, 2011 – 12:47 am

WAHt an egciting race.  HOLey SMokes TALk bout being on the edge of your chair.  THat is waht INdy CAr racing is all a bout my friends.  ANd for once the whole world got to see waht it is.  I egspect all the veiwers taht tuned it were like amazed at the start of the race. I KNow I was.  AGain and again and again ANd everone got to see just how diffuclt INdyCar racing is today.  THis aint no grandmothers race.  NO sireee BOb.  THis is INdy CAr racing.  NOt everone can do it and SUnday proved taht.  It aint easy being a INdy CAr hiro.  YOu dint see nothin like that in FOrmula ONe on SUnday.  HElls BElles you aint never seen that much in CARt hahahahah Or CHAmp CArs hahahahahah  BOth dead.  hahahahahahah BUt INdy CArs rocks on baby.

RANdy got a grate idea with the double breasted restarts.  MAn oh man oh man.  YEah buddy.  INDy CArs is liek a classic rock station.  THe hits just keep on comin baby  POW. SO BUck and me were talking bout waht else RANdy could do to make INdy CArs more egciting and I camed up with a grate idea.  WHat if RAndy got the safety crews to dress up as rodeo clowns?  HUh?  THink bout that?  JUst liek in the rodeo.  Wehnt he wreck happens they would get  ont he track and run around to keep the other cars from crashin into the wrecked INdy CAr and then they coud entertain the crowd at the same time.  POw  I got to get lunch with RANdy and tell him all bout this.  RAtings woud soar.

WINNIng!!!

BIf#

MAnoh MAN oh man I am so egcited

March 25, 2011 – 4:10 pm

HOley COw.  A nother thrilling season of INDyCar racing is a bout up on us.  DANg.  BEtter fire up teh VErses if you got it and tune in boys and grils.    BUt the first one is on ABC and then a bunch on the VErses and then the big daddy is on ABC then more on teh VErses and then one or two more on ABC or ESPn or wahtever I cant keep track no more.  BUt mostly its the VERses .  So you know waht that meens right?  LOAd up the cooler with barley pops and head on over to WAlMArt and watch it there.  CAUse I aint got no VErses.  HElls BElles last year I wached it on my computer but that aint gone to happen no more.  SO it party time at the WAlMArt which aint too bad cause those wimmen are hot there.  JUSt my type.  BUT dont tell that to ADrian.  HOoo no.  IFen she ever knew that I looked at a nother women sheed scalp me.  THen I’d look just liek that DOnald TRump guy hahahahahaha  FOr craps sakes hes gone to drive the pace car at INDy.  CAnt wait to see his hairs blowin in the wind.  OR not hahahahahaha  HE looks liek a beaver done died on his head. 

BUt man is this gone to be a grate season or waht?.  FIsrt of all.  TOney GOrge is back.  Aint that special.  Ill bet RAndy is all giddy that TOney will be there to back him up for wahtever he needs.  KNowing that hes got the master visionery of teh IRl on his side has to be a good feeling. WHenever he gets stumped he can always turn to TOney and fined out what to do.  WAht would TOeny do?  THe IRl should sell bracelets with that on it.  Id buy one.  OR two. 

SO TOney’s back and fat bouy PUal TRAcy aint hahahahahahah   JUst liek it sposed to be.  WAth really scorches my bloomers is that spike haired CANuck is posting on TRackFOrum now all the time.  SHitfire in a wirlwind  I cant even read that place no more with him there.  ANd wahts worse they all love his CARt strret race loosen ass.  IT just aint right.  I kind of figgerd he woud have learnt a lesson at INdy but I guess not.  HE aint no hiro to me.  NOsirre BOb.  YOu wont see me suckin up to him on TRackForm.    NOt one bit.  THAt just aint right. 

ANd RAndy has done a grate job over the off season.  HEs got the double files restarts now.  WHoopee.  YOu know dang well that will get used a lot.  hahahahahah  ANd we pert near had us the LUcky Dogs but no.  I sposed NASCArs put there foot down on that.  JSUt liek they did on the $20 million double on MEMorial Days.  DAng it I was hopin to see TOney STewarts kick butts tw!ce on one day.  HE could.  BUt Randy gots the $5 million VEgas SUper Duper PRix to finsihs the season.  $5 million for one outsider to win.  JAmes ROberts says hes gone to get ready and try.  HEs working on his mower now to enter the TWelve MIle 500 LAwnmower race over the 4th of JUly.  IF he wins he figgers he can jump up a class or two to INdy CArs.  If he makes it I’m gone to VEgas baby. 

THe big question is who else gone to run VEgas?  MAn that is so cool.  Get a bunch of big name racers to run teh INdy CAR race.  MAybe then teh whole world will wach then.  MAybe DALe Jr.  OR MIchael Shumaker.  MAybe even someone like not even in raceing.   LIek KIrstie Alley.  OH wait I know it woud be cool to get CHarlie SHeen.  WIINING!  hahahahah  MAN oh man that would be nuts to get him.  RANdys got to do that.  PUt him in a car.  CAn you amagione the attention that woud get?  WINNING!  You could sell TIger BLood drinks at the track.  Probly be good with the tenederloins.  ANd get his brother EMile ESTeban or what ever teh name is on his green card.  MUst of had diffent mothers.  BUt he was in FReeJAck so you know he knows a thing of two bout INdy Racin.  HEd fit right in if you know what I meen hahahahahah WINNING!!  DAng that just gives me shivers to think bout it.  EVerone in the whole world will be lookin forward to this race.  CAN you amagione an end to a nother INDy Season so hihgly antiicpated?.  HElls BElles never before will so many people look forward to the season being over as this one.  WINNIng!

SO here we go off on a nother jam packed season on INDy EGcitment.  STarting with the ST Pete Strret race.  CARt dun screwed this one up but Im sure once them ST PEters get used to INdy CARs it will come around.  Then a few more twisty races then INdy.  FUnny there aint no other ohvals this year before INdy.  ALWays was in the passed.   HUh.  WAht happened?

I DOnt know when I ever been this imprest

July 16, 2010 – 10:29 am

A bout this time last year I was reely ascared of what was gone to happen to INDy Cars and the INdy 500.  AFter the sisters kicked TONey out of the family I figgered weed go no where but down.  BUT boy oh boy these last few days have made a bleiever out of me.  DANg.  FIsrt of all there aint gone to be no damed DEltaThing hahahahahahah  SORry CHip, back to the buffet for you.  WHEw I was dreading seeing 33 four wheeled dongs start at INDy.  PRObly would have had to change the INDy500 parade to the GAy PRide PArade if that happened if you know what I mean.  

BUt the committe did good.  THey picked the only manufacter that has stuck by the IRl since it started.  THInk bout that.  EVery step of the way its been DALlara.  THey know what INdy means.  ANd now they are gone to open a plant up in INDy.   ANd I want to work there.  HELls BELles can you amagione building INdyCArs in INDy across the strret from the INDy500?  BOggels the mind don’t it?  PUt one into the wall? WEll just run across thestreet and pick out a new one.   

ANd then the cars can be customized with differnt parts from other vendors.  JUSt like getting parts from JC WHitney.  BAck to the roots baby.  BAck to the roots.  CAN you amagione all the differnt die casts that are gone to be made now?  HOly cow.  I CAnt wait.  THIS aint spec no more.   A team can pick and chose what they want but it all matches.  LIke granimals only for INDyCars

SO all my fears was unfoundeded.  I was fraid that the loss of TOney GOerge would be the death of the IRl.  BUT no so much.  TOney had built such a fine orgnization that it coud survive without him.  ANd RAndy came in and picked up right where TONey left off.   HE’s building on the legacy that TOney left behind.  IM sure TOney is thinking bout the IRL these days and feels good that its gone on without him.  RANdy did good.  SO good that he ought change his name to RANdy GOerge. 

BIf#

YEeeHaw MAn oh man on man WAht a season

June 17, 2010 – 11:30 am

WEll HElls BElles IM pertty jacked up for the big time IOWa race on SUnday.  ANd its on SUnday after noon like GOd intented it to be.   OVhal racing on a SUnday afternoon.  BRIng it on..  NORmally ADrian dont liek me drinkin on SUnday too much but when theres a race, hay you got to do what you got to do.  RIGht? hahahahahaha  WEer all gone to JAMes ROberts who now gots the VErses.  AInt gone to be hanginout at the WAlMArts no more and wachin the VErses on there TVs.  THAt sucked anyway cause there help was always steeling our beers from our coolers anyways.  HOWever we did see soem hot womens in there.  BUt mostly they had bout a half dozen rug rats with them. 

INdy was one hell of a race this year.  AInt it all ways?  Egspecially without PAul TRacey hahahahahah BUt dang it seemed liek it jsut started and then the MONth of MAy was over.  I dont ever remember it gone by so fast.  ANd I dont ever remember getteing so drunk as I did during the race.  WE got a new INDy drink now called the FUzzy DAd.  We mixed DAds rootbeer and FUzzy vodka and got totally hammerd.  ACAtaully we used SKol vodka cause it was a hole lot chepare but it was still DADs.   DAng I was seeing triple before the race was over.  WHEn COnway smaked the fence I was already face down.  TAHt is the mark of a grate race let me tell you.  CANt get much grater than INdy.  WHen it comes to racin INdy shreds the comptitions. 

THen TExas came on the heels of INdy.  WOw all teh hype from INdy just carries over to TExas.  I got hammered watchin that race too.  STarted with a bunch of FUzzy DADs then we switched to WIled TUrky.  I got fried.  TOTly toasted.  BURned my brain to a crisp.  HEll of a race with all taht hot action baby.  ONLy in teh IRl baby.  ONly in teh IRl.

ANd now we got all that cornfed goodness comin from IOwa.  YEe HAw.  EVery seat will be filled unless they is a big line for scanners or at the crappers.  ANd if the weather aint to bad.  WOnder which INdyCAr gunslinger will be all over the news the next day?  GOt to watch ot fined out.  HOpe I dont’ pass out before its over hahahahahahaha  PRobly wll though hahahahahha AInt nothin liek drinkin while the IRL is on.  NOthin liek it at all.

Everone keeps sayin how bad it is that the IRL aint got so many AMericans.  BUYt you know we was talkin bout it at work the other day and I said at leased with a bunch of fornners in there theres less a chance that some AMerican hiro will get kilt.  CAn you amagione how it would have looked if an AMerican woud have gotten kilt inthe DADs car at INdy or if one got burned up at TExas?  BUt sense it a foriner no one really cared all that much.  At leased no one that I know here in INdy did.  FROm now on those dammed forrin ride buyers better think twice before comin to the IRl.  LEt them take there pesos somewheres else. 

SO at work the other day they put on that dad blamed soccer match on the TV.  I wasnt payin no attention to it but coud hear it in the background and at first I thouht it was a rerun of a IRl race.  ALl I coud hear brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr all the time.  JUSt like the IRl baby.  THen I got to thinkin bout a way to make some money.  IM gone to start sellin those horns at IRl races cause they sound just like the INDy cars do.  brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  MAn oh man that is so allsome.   CAN you amagione the whole stand of those at a IRl race?  I think they is called teh vulvazealots.  I gotta work on this   MIght be my ticket to the bigtime baby ONly in teh IRl baby only in the IRL.  WHere the dreams are big.

BIf#

WOOoo who ITs the big day but it aint the same

May 29, 2010 – 5:46 pm

SOMethings missing this year.  I coudnt put my finger on it till last night when BUck and me was grillin some raccoon stakes out and drinkn barley pops and BUck says to me that he reely missed not seein TOney Gorge all month.  THen it hit me.  THis is the first year with out the man who made all this possibel.  TONey GOrge.  NO man on the face of this earth coud do waht he did.  NOt many woud even attempt what he did.  ANd dang it hes gone all cause his damed snooty sisters got all psissed offat him  MUst of all had there cycles in synch last MAy.  TOney just shoud have sent them shopppin in TErre HAUte or soemthing.  DAmn I think they might have screwed this up bout right.  IT just dont feel right to me no more.  IT seems liek less of a month.  NO TOney  No VIsion but at leased there aint no fat bouy PAUl TRacy hahahahahahaha  OH man oh man.  I dont care if hes now the sweethard at TRAck FRoum HEs still PAul ‘I aint drivng no crapwagon” TRAcy. ANd hes right, he aint. hahahahahaah  NOt at INDy.  ANd reeely where else does anyone care if your drivin a crapwagon egcept INDy? 

SO maye it all aint lost.  CAn you amagion how bad this woud be tomorrow if TRAcy was in there?  PRobly woud be one less AMericn in there if he made the race.  BUT then MILka dint make it none either.  ANd that aint right.  SHees got the goods.  BOth of them hahahahaha  ANd shes got this guy that looks like hes a porn star guy that follows here round all month.  I spect hes from the home country and maybe he is a porn actor.  HEs got that moustache that says “I can get jaggy while cheezy music is playin in the back ground”   THere was a team owner in CARt that had one of them same moustaches but I cant rememeber his name.  MAYbe I shoud grow one and show MILka waht a reel man is all about.

SO yesterday I went to the track to see ZZ TOp.  PUt them on the same bill as the INdy CARs and you got yourself a sure thing I tell you.  THe track needs to book them for the hole month of MAy next year.  MAybe get BOB Seegar too.  BUt damed if I didnt see the sikest thing I ever saw/.  SOme itiod was tryin to get a hummer from a goat out on GEorgetown ROad.  NOw I tell you I saw all kinds of stuff when the snakepits was goin on but I aint never seen nothin like this.  SAW streekers, people screwin in trees all sorts of fun stuff  BUt I aint never seen nothing sick liek that  DUDe looked like a goate was bout the ebst he coud do.  HAd to be one of them CArt strret race loosers tryin to forget bout PAul TRacy not being in the race.  I guess a goat might  do that.

NOw normally TIppy GOmez writes me up his take on the field.  BUt last year he coudnt and this year the damed beaner has been on a 3 day drunk.  OK.  SO have I but that dont stop me from postin on the innerwebs.  I called him this morning and asked him waht int he hell he was doing.  HE said he was fixin breakfast.  Jalapenose and refried beans on a torilla with some mezcal to wash it down.  I toled him to save some for me. hahahahaha  DANg.  ANyway TIppys been drinkin way too much.  IT started last year actully.  NOt to many people knew this but he always washed TONey GOrge’s car on THursdays.  HE said TOney was pertty generous.  WOUld given him a crsip new hunnert dollar bill each time he washed it.  FUnny thing was TIppy woud just drive his car down to KOpetskys on 16th strret and have them warsh it.  THen hed bring it back and TONey would give him a hunnert.  TIppy said TOney was always generous liek that.  REmember when TOney was in the video last year after the race when he tought someone was steeling his car?  THat was TIppy takin his car to KOPetskys then.  TIppy needed some cash so he thought maybe he coud trick TOney into thinkin it was THursday carwash day again.  I think it worked. 

 

SO ANyways I night be postin up my take on the field tonight ANd then I might not.  I got half a package on now an ADrians lookin damned hot.  SO who knows.  IF I can slide the DeltaWing into the pitbox without havin to take her out ofr dinner at GRAys BRothers I might be back.   

IF it werent so damed good it woudnt be worht waitin for or somethng liek that

May 14, 2010 – 10:39 am

FINally the MONth o MAy is bout to begin.  AN I am ready.   DAng this was killin me.  ITs like when things build up inside me when ADrians AUnt FLo come for her monthly visist.  YOU know what I meen.  hahahahahaha  Dang.  I need soem releaf.  SOMe IRL releaf baby hahahahhahaaha  I Got big plans for this month.  GOne to the track on opening day an take some ham smamiches and beer.   ANd WILed TURkey  Dang good stuff.   THEn once the track closes I think weer gone to the CLassy CHassis again.  AINt nothing better than a DANicle look alike after a hard day at the track GO DADdy GO DAddy GO DAddy go. 

BEEn a wierd year so far with all them damed strret races.  BUt I suppose they feel they got to keep them damed CArt strret race loosers happy  BUT I aint got no idear why.  THey damed neer ruint the sport before.  WHy let them do it again?  ALl they are is a bunch of rich teams that dint support the real IRl.  ONle after TOney GOrge kilt their series TWICE did they come to the IRl.  SO why give into them?  THat perplexes me.  TOney had the oval racing perfected.  IT was everthing he said it woud be.  ANd then some.  We had the TIger WOOds of racing.  WE had the little teams.  WE had a series sposner.  TWICE.  ANd we had TV coverage that you dint need to pay for.  IT was everthing us oval fans ever  wanted.  THE best oval racing outside of NASCArs and soemtimes won by an AMERican.  THen TONey kilt off CARt and CHAMpCar and all them club racers camed to the IRl.  NOW they damed neer control the sport.   YOU know damned well PENske and GOnadsi are callin the shots again just liek they did before.   ANd stupid MIke to.   Addin all them damed strret coasres.  NOt hiring no AMericans and makin them all go to NASCAr.  DOin the DEltathing.  WAHt the hell is that anyway?   I took Adrian tot he CHicago AUto SHow and coudnt beleive waht I was lookin at.  I htough man this looks like something form the past and the future at the same time.   ANd ADrian toled me there was a place for it but it werent at no race track.  I aint quite got that one figgered out yet.  ANd the new guy from the ROdeo kined of worries me.  WHy play up to the NAncy BOys and give them a tropfy for best road racer?   HUh?  THat aint AMerican INDy racing.  THERes only one tropfy in INdy Car racing and thats the BOrk WArmer.  THats the only one anyone ever needed then and thats the only one anyone ever needs now. 

ANd now RODeo boy wants to change the name of theIRL to somethin else?  WAHt the hell does that do?  I Gost me a NOrthen LIGhts IRL hat that I wear with pride.  WAHt the hell do I do with that?  THe IRl is waht this was all about.  WHen you think of the IRl you think of TONey GOrge and the series he fomred out of nothing.  NOThing I tell you.  BUilt on the dreams of oval racing fans ever where.  HE starts pulling stunts liek this and next thing you know all those fans that held on while all those ovals were being dropped for strret races is gone to say enough is enough.  MAn that guy worries me.  HE aint TOney thats for sure. 

IT will be a strange day at the track with no TOney GOrge there.  NO VIsison, no TOney riding around on his SEqway like a ROMan EMperor on his chariot.  I hope TOneys doin fine these days.  I aint heard where hes got a new job yet.  I suspect geting hired as a captin of industry aint as easy as it sounds.  GOod LUCk TOney, if you need a reference you can count on me.  I Cant think of no one else that coud of or woud of done waht you did in the past 15 years.  YOUll go down in history. 

YEArs ago I hummed up a song to the BEAtels YEller SUmmarine and it went soemthin liek this

INt he town where I was borned
LIves a man who ownsatrack
And he toll us long ago
THatt CARt aint never comin back

SO we bought up lots of beers
Got the Gremlen and thrw em in the rear
I picks up Buck and James Robert to
HEAded to the track too drink a few

WE all live for the merry month of MAy
The mery month of MAy, the merry month of may
WE All live for the merry month of MAy
The merry month of may, the mery month of May

AS we watch our heroes go by
Everone of them we no will try
TO keep off the walls at the track
Cause LIttel AL sez they’ll brake your back

ANd then DR JAck came out to try
TO set a track record or least not die
ANd we wached the girls go by
Were all so happy we coud cry

WE all live for the merry month of MAy
The merry month of MAY, the mery month of MAy
We All live forthe merry month of MAy
The mery month of MAy, the merry month of may